Jonas(Story)
The Jonas Dynasty began in mid-2022 and rose to power over the course of several months.
Jonas and his descendants are fictional characters invented and puppeted by various users of YWOT. Their story, whose plot is developed by user after user, appears at spawn in the form of ASCII art.
Jonas is a mighty emperor who controls a horrifying force known as The Wack. Where he appears he is usually accompanied by a Fish familiar.
Jonas I[edit | edit source]
The first Jonas was known to have appeared a short distance northwest of spawn, though the exact coordinates have been lost to time.
Contemporary sources paint him as an unassuming stick figure lacking in features, a humble beginning for a great lineage. A frail, insignificant entity, Jonas I presumably migrated northwest in order to escape death in the chaos of spawn. His exodus was cut short when he stumbled into the territory of a giant(relative to his size) fish-like entity.
According to legends propagated by his descendants, the fish was a predatory entity with whom Jonas engaged in fierce battle, at the end of which he emerged triumphant. The validity of this myth is widely disputed(with many claiming that the fish was in fact herbivorous and docile) though regardless of the details Jonas was said to have tamed the fish and taken his place atop its back.
To this date the fish remains the most prominent iconography of the Jonas Dynasty. As a sign of political power, all heirs of Jonas were known to keep a fish as a pet. Their appearances closely resembled that of the one encountered by the original Jonas. But over multiple generations they would shrink to a fraction of their former size; a sharp contrast to the Jonas emperors, who augmented themselves to become massive abominations.
Rumors exist that the fish is in fact immortal, and reincarnates over the ages in order to accompany each heir of Jonas in their reign. Other rumors state that the fish was an intelligent being with highly potent psychic powers. There exists little evidence for either theories, though given the secretive nature of the Jonas emperors they cannot be conclusively disproven.
The exact details of Jonas I's rise to power remains vague and largely undocumented. Though a month or so after his appearance Jonas(or one of his children) was supposedly sighted at spawn, declaring himself as king.
Jonas XII[edit | edit source]
The twelfth Jonas gained his wealth through the refinement and sale of Wack Juice: an extremely potent substance which causes profound changes in mind and body. Though Wack Juice had volatile properties which were unbelievably dangerous, its transformative qualities made it an object of high demand.
On his part, Jonas XII was a highly effective businessman who created a complete monopoly over spawn's wack mines. The precious substance within was then extracted through the labor of thousands of enslaved bunnies, chosen due to their natural tolerance for the side-effects of unrefined Wack Juice.
Using his wealth Jonas XII built a massive mansion in the western portion of spawn. It was supposedly the largest house in all of spawn(which it may very well have been at the time) and featured many amenities, such as a Banasonic® Mega Telly. Jonas also created an immense tank in order to house his pet fish. The fish was attended to by a group of rabbit slaves, who were charged with feeding it Wack Flakes(a byproduct of Wack Juice).
Jonas® Mass Housing[edit | edit source]
A massive housing complex created by one of the Jonases. It was built on December 2nd, 2022, during a period where roombas were frequently active and would often appear to devour everything within 3 coordinates of the center. Given this information it can be assumed that Jonas® Mass Housing was intended to capitalize on the crisis, providing shelter for refugees fleeing the roomba.
Jonas® Mass Housing was located directly east of the center, directly outside the normal range of roombas. Despite this the complex was destroyed shortly after its creation, leading to massive casualties. Upon closer inspection, what seemed to be roomba tracks could be found on its ruins. No record of the attack exists so it cannot be proven whether these tracks were legitimate. Though if they were real then it would mean that a roomba left its limit of 3 coordinates in order to attack the complex. Such behavior has never occured on any other instance.
Jonas® Mass Housing was quickly repaired, though the incident left the surviving residents of the complex deeply traumatized. In the days after the attack residents have been seen placing roomba corpses in the rooms of those killed. At least one of these corpses was seen crucified and worshipped as a religious idol.
Jonas® Mass Housing features a pipe system built by ORBCORP Association.
Jonas XXXVIIICDLXXIII[edit | edit source]
Brutal tyrant and a distant descendant of the original Jonas. Takes the form of a giant, disembodied brain which inhabits a vat filled with wack juice. (The fish is there too as a timeless icon of the Jonas dynasty, though it seems to have shrunk considerably over the eras).
Constant exposure to Wack Juice has given Jonas(and his fish) access to god-like powers, which he uses to rule over his empire with an iron fist(actually made out of Wack Particles floating in the air, compressed into the form of a hand with the aid of a focusing device).
Jonas XXXVIIICDLXXIII first appeared on December 22nd, 2022 in the western portion of spawn, where Wacky Town(as well as multiple iterations of Bunnytown) used to be.
Jonas' armed forces is composed mainly of bunnies, all but one of whom have been lobotomized by the Bunnytown Mental Institution. Bunnies working under Jonas make use of space elevator technology first seen in Dreamer's Road.
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Jonas invading a nearby settlement(December 27th, 2022)
Lil' Bits and Crispy Lobes[edit | edit source]
Brands of cereals produced by the Bunnytown Mental Institution, created using brain portions extracted from lobotomy patients.
Lil' Bits and Crispy lobes were used by Jonas to assert control over his citizens. They were also used to create artificial brains with the capability of withstanding Wack Juice, one of which was used by Jonas as his primary body.
Resistance to Jonas[edit | edit source]
On December 28th, 2022, a group of bunnies appeared that resisted Jonas' reign. The exact size of this group was unclear, though so far they have only been seen along the west road, near Jonas' territory. The resistance group made use of highly advanced technology such as the Jonas Blaster 6900 and the Jonasbuster Mark 1. The latter was used in a successful attack against Jonas on December 28th, during which Jonas was severely injured and had to be fed emergency lobes by his bunny servants.
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Jonas withstanding an attack from the Jonas Blaster 6900(December 28th, 2022) -
Jonas injured(December 28th, 2022) -
Jonasbusters being attacked by a servant of Jonas(December 29th, 2022) -
Jonas Blaster under attack from a Wack Entity(December 31st, 2022)
Jonas Dead[edit | edit source]
Such is the fall of the Jonas Dynasty
From humble beginnings it arose
Ascended to heights unimaginable for mortal men
And now it returns to obscurity
To the same dust that birthed it
For all his achievements, all his glory
The flow of time will spare him no mercy
It shall wash over the ruins of his empire
And make void the legacy of JONAS
Of all the children of his flesh and all their children too
All that is to say
Jonas dead
For real
OR IS HE!?!?[edit | edit source]
Where is he now?[edit | edit source]
